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CarPlay coming to 2017 Honda Accord

MacNN Podcasts - Fri, 06/24/2016 - 2:33pm
Honda has revealed that it will offer an upgrade for buyers of the brand-new 2017 Honda Accord, which debuts June 27, that supports both Apple's CarPlay and Google's Android Auto for those buyers who include the seven-inch Display Audio touchscreen in their options packages. Honda currently supports CarPlay in the 2016 Accord and Civic, and the 2017 Ridgeline, with the 2017 Civic Hatchback gaining the technology when it arrives this fall. The company did not say how much the 2017 Accord upgrade would cost....
Categories: iPod News

Error'd: It Ain't Over Til It's Over

The Daily WTF - Fri, 06/24/2016 - 5:00am

"Countdowns are hard, particularly once they run out!" writes Peter.

 

Valts S. wrote, "Steam lures you in with what looks like a good deal and then bends how addition works."

 

"This used to be just a 16 megabyte SD card, but Disk Utility knows it has potential," writes Andrew C.

 

Simon N. wrote, "Thank goodness the details of my order are correct else I'd have no recourse!"

 

"One must ask themselves - is this a case of accidental labeling or the rise of the burger dogs?" wrote Sam.

 

Jake M. writes, "There's the right way to get people to use your app, and then there's the wrong way...guess which one this is."

 

"There's just no pleasing some web login forms," wrote Jacob.

 

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Categories: Comic Relief

Dumb's The Word

The Daily WTF - Thu, 06/23/2016 - 5:30am

Brent's latest software project contained a story for adding a word-cloud to a PDF report that was already being generated on a production server using Java. Instead of being handled by Brent's in-house team, the requirement was assigned—against Brent's wishes—to overseas developers whom the company had recently contracted to "add more horsepower" to things.

Being fairly technical, the product manager found an example word-cloud library, linked to it in the ticket, and commented, "The output should look something like this."

A month passed. Then, Brent reported into work one morning to find a new ticket in JIRA listed as blocking the word-cloud ticket. Its title was Having trouble launching Internet Explorer from Selenium on Linux servers (works fine locally on my Windows development machine).

Brent's confusion left him paralyzed for a few moments. Then he realized, this was probably just a testing ticket that'd somehow gotten linked to the story by accident. To make sure, he called up Bobby, his counterpart from the contracting firm, who'd been the one to file the ticket.

"It's not a mistake," Bobby explained. "The story really is blocked."

"OK, so, you're really trying to launch Internet Explorer on the production app server?" Brent asked. "You realize IE's not installed on that server, right? What do you need it for?"

"It's integral to the implementation I came up with," Bobby replied.

Brent was afraid to ask. "How?"

"I couldn't find a native Java word-cloud library, so this is what I have to do to fulfill the specifications," Bobby said. "First, I take the PDF report data and serialize it to JSON. Then, I import Selenium into the production codebase. Then, I generate an HTML page and a Selenium script. Once Selenium is started, the script launches Internet Explorer and opens the HTML page. Once the HTML page loads, Selenium captures a screenshot of it. With Java, the screenshot is opened, cropped, and then embedded into the PDF report."

Brent was stunned speechless.

"I got this to work on my local machine, but then I tried to test on a server and hit the error," Bobby continued.

That's what you were doing all month? Brent marveled. "Uh, OK ... listen, the implementation you just described is unacceptable. I don't see why we can't keep it within Java. We're coming up on our deadline."

Brent's eyes strayed toward the calendar tacked to his cubicle wall, showing him how few empty squares he had left to deal with this. He took a deep breath, composed himself, then donned his project manager hat to do the managerly thing.

"Leave this alone for now, all right? I'm going to speak with some of my developers and let you know what we decide to do from here."

"OK," Bobby replied.

Once off the call, Brent opened up Outlook and fired off a meeting request for the earliest possible time. A short while later, he looked upon his assembled developers within a dimly lit conference room, half of whom were more interested in their laptops than in the minor crisis Brent related to them.

"What can we do about this on short notice?" he begged. "Is there a native Java library that can generate word-clouds?"

No amount of Internet-hunting turned up anything useful. Brent tugged at his collar. He'd been hoping Bobby had been wrong about that, and that a solution would only require a download and a few lines of code.

"All right. How hard would it be to code our own implementation?" Brent asked.

Cheryl, who'd been typing furiously all meeting, finally let up on the keyboard and shoved away from the table. "Here, I just finished."

As it turned out, her keyboard exercise had not been in the service of bashing trolls in comment threads. Everyone gathered to peek over her shoulder at the PDF-embedded word-cloud it'd taken her minutes to code and generate, an accomplishment that'd eluded their contractors for a whole month.

"Meeting adjourned!" Brent cried in triumph.

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Categories: Comic Relief

CodeSOD: Built Up

The Daily WTF - Wed, 06/22/2016 - 5:30am

In most languages, strings are immutable. As developers, we often need to manipulate strings- for example, constructing output through concatenation.

Constructs like foo += " and then I appended this"; “solve” this immutability issue by creating a new string instance. If you’re doing a long round of concatenation, especially if it happens inside of a loop, this could get very expensive, which is why most languages also have a StringBuilder type, which allows you to append without all that overhead of new instances. Often, the advice is that you should prefer StringBuilder objects to string.

Jonathan’s co-worker applied this advice without understanding why.

private static string PrivateValidateRequestAndGetReserve(string ProductCode, int TransactionType, string Username, string Password, ref string ReserveId) { StringBuilder ReturnMessage = new StringBuilder(); string TransactionCode = Enum.GetName(typeof(Common.Enums.TransactionCodesEnum), TransactionType); ReserveId = string.Empty; using (var AdminWS = new wsAdmin.AdminClient()) { if (!AdminWS.AuthenticateUser(Username, Password)) { ReturnMessage.Append("Error Logging on with the username and password supplied."); return ReturnMessage.ToString(); } if (!AdminWS.CanUserAccessProductAndTransaction(Username, ProductCode, TransactionCode)) { ReturnMessage.Append("You don't have access to this transaction."); return ReturnMessage.ToString(); } if (!(AdminWS.CheckBalanceForTransactionFromUsername(out ReserveId, Username, TransactionCode))) { ReturnMessage.Append("Not Enough Credits to perform current transaction"); return ReturnMessage.ToString(); } } return ReturnMessage.ToString(); }

This isn’t the worst of it. First, note all those calls to AdminWS methods. The developers who wrote those did not believe in throwing exceptions, since an uncaught exception could cause the program to crash. Instead, they wrote every method to return a boolean value indicating success or failure. This meant if any function needed to return a value, that could only be done as an out or ref parameter.

But the real prize here is with the parameter int TransactionType. As you can see in the code, they convert the int into a string by pulling it through an enumerated type called TransactionCodesEnum. It makes you wonder, why is TransactionType an int, couldn’t they have just passed the enum into the method? There must be a good reason, right? Well, here’s the code that calls this method:

Enums.TransactionCodesEnum transactionEnum = getCurrentTransactionCode(); string validationText = Admin.ValidateRequestAndGetReserve(ProductName, (int) transactionEnum, username, password, ref reserveId); hljs.initHighlightingOnLoad(); [Advertisement] Manage IT infrastructure as code across all environments with Puppet. Puppet Enterprise now offers more control and insight, with role-based access control, activity logging and all-new Puppet Apps. Start your free trial today!
Categories: Comic Relief

Putting the "No" in "Novell"

The Daily WTF - Tue, 06/21/2016 - 5:30am

In the late 90's, Gregg was hired to administer a small Novell network at EduLoans, a student loan processing company. What it amounted to though was a toxic waste cleanup at a Superfund site. To say his predecessor, Loretta, was underqualified was a blunt understatement. The company wanted a network on the cheap, which included elevating a receptionist with slight technical skills to the ranks of Novell administrator. They figured the only training she would ever need was a two week hands-on Novell CNA course.

Loretta returned from training with tons of free swag in tow. This included a CD-ROM beta version of Netware 3.12, with bold text printed across its face reading NOT FOR USE IN A PRODUCTION ENVIRONMENT. Ignoring that, she convinced the President of EduLoans that they could get by with this great free version so there would be more money to spend on hardware - and her raise.

Fast-forward a couple years and the EduLoans network was barely functional. Things were fouled up so bad that the Administrator account could do nothing except delete existing user accounts, manage - but not create or delete - print queues, and setup automatic backups which the system would not actually run. Administrator could not even change its own password, nor could any of the other user accounts.

Around the same time, Loretta was ready to start a family and decided to leave EduLoans just before having her first child. Thus, the need for Gregg arose. He was brought in to fix the mess, and do it in a very budget-conscious manner. So obviously having Novell technicians come in to help was out of the question.

Combined with the Netware disarray was the crappy loan processing software EduLoans ran its entire business through. It had originally been written in COBOL then ported to MS-DOS batch files thousands of lines long. These mammoth batch files had to be run from a workstation, which resulted in pulling the entire million-dollar database over a 10 megabit Ethernet connection. The workstation would then process the transactions, send them back to the server, and print the results on 15" greenbar.

Strapped for cash and not sure what else to do, Gregg unhatched a bold plan. He would personally take an upcoming three day weekend to wipe every hard drive at EduLoans to remove the scourge Loretta had setup. He would then use an existing Netware 4.11 license he personally owned the rights to from his last job and set up a fresh Novell network, re-install everything on the workstations, and connect it to the new clean network. From there he would take the backed-up application and database and set it up in a manner that it could run from a server. It might take him the entire 72 hours of the weekend, but it should work and he'd be hailed as a hero.

In order to execute this plan, he would need signoff from Bob, EduLoans' Vice President and the only rung of the ladder Gregg ever had to run his ideas up to. Bob wasn't the most technical person, so it didn't usually take Gregg much effort to convince him. "Seems like a solid enough plan," he said. "If you're willing to burn up this glorious long weekend doing it, that is. Me, I'll be out of state on a golf course somewhere, so I am not to be bothered!" Bob thrust his index finger in to the air to drive home the point. "I'll see you on Tuesday once this mess is sorted out!"

For Gregg, the 3 day weekend seemed like one long, never-ending day. He had all the workstations wiped and reloaded by Saturday night but the rest of the time was a total nightmare. The new network was more difficult to set up and configure than he originally anticipated. Once that was done, none of the workstations would talk to it until he found some obscure setting in the wee hours of Monday.

After a power nap, he got to work configuring the server to run EduLoans' application. He came to find the documentation he was planning to use to help set it up hadn't been updated since the time Zubaz were cool. That led to a lot of guesswork and missteps, which eventually led to the sun coming up on Tuesday morning and a non-functional environment that EduLoans depended on for business.

Bob strolled in an hour late, looking lobster-ish from too much sun on the golf course. "Gregg! Good morning. I forgot all about you being here this weekend. How'd it go?" Bob's tone suggested he expected everything went well and Gregg had worked a miracle. But the answer he got made him turn an even deeper shade of red. "We need to go explain this to the President, pronto!"

Gregg was prepared to fess up to what he did, but did not anticipate the proverbial bus Bob was about to toss him under. "He acted alone! I told him this was a bad idea that could damage our business! But did he listen? NO!" Bob blathered on as Gregg sat there stunned. "I even tried calling him several times to see if he had any other ideas! I will not be held responsible in any way for this disaster!"

If looks could kill, The Prez's icy stare would have struck Gregg down. Instead, he calmly spoke, "Gregg, I'm afraid your services are no longer needed here. Bob, please escort him out. After that, get on the phone to Loretta and tell her we will spare no expense to bring her back to get our network back to the way she had it!" [Advertisement] Otter, ProGet, BuildMaster – robust, powerful, scalable, and reliable additions to your existing DevOps toolchain.

Categories: Comic Relief

CodeSOD: Now There's a Switch…

The Daily WTF - Mon, 06/20/2016 - 5:30am

You know what’s awful? If-then-elseif conditions. You have this long, long chain of them, and then what? If only there were a shorter, clearer way to write a large number of conditions.

Oh, what’s that? There is? It’s called a switch statement? But doesn’t a switch statement only work on equality comparisons? I’d really like something that works on any condition.

Fortunately for me, Sergej’s boss has found a way.

clients.findById( req.authUser._doc._id).then( function( client, error ){ switch( true ) { case client == null: res.send( { success: false, message: 'Your profile has not been found. Try it again or logout and then login again' }); break; case client.password != req.body.profile.password: res.send( { success: false, message: 'Profile has not been updated. Password is wrong.' }); break; default: var updateObj = {}; switch( true ) { case client.firstname != req.body.profile.firstname: updateObj.firstname = req.body.profile.firstname; case client.lastname != req.body.profile.lastname: updateObj.lastname = req.body.profile.lastname; case client.username != req.body.profile.username: updateObj.username = req.body.profile.username; case client.companyName != req.body.profile.companyName: updateObj.companyName = req.body.profile.companyName; case client.companyAddress != req.body.profile.companyAddress: updateObj.companyAddress = req.body.profile.companyAddress; case client.companyCity != req.body.profile.companyCity: updateObj.companyCity = req.body.profile.companyCity; case client.companyCountry != req.body.profile.companyCountry: updateObj.companyCountry = req.body.profile.companyCountry; case client.registrationNumber != req.body.profile.registrationNumber: updateObj.registrationNumber = req.body.profile.registrationNumber; case client.vatNumber != req.body.profile.vatNumber: updateObj.vatNumber = req.body.profile.vatNumber; } } clients.update({_id: client._id},{$set: updateObj}) .exec() .then(function(data,err){ typeof err != 'undefined' ? res.send({success:false, message: 'Your profile could not be updated.'}) : res.send({success:true, message: 'Your profile has been updated.'}); }); });

All the functionality of an if-then-else, but it’s even more flexible, because it’s got fall-through! Why does anybody use regular if statements when they’ve got this efficient and easy-to-read construct?

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Categories: Comic Relief

Apple Reports Second Quarter Results

Apple Hot News - Tue, 04/26/2016 - 4:44pm
Apple today announced financial results for its fiscal 2016 second quarter ended March 26. The company posted quarterly revenue of $50.6 billion and quarterly net income of $10.5 billion, or $1.90 per diluted share. These results compare to revenue of $58 billion and net income of $13.6 billion, or $2.33 per diluted share, in the year-ago quarter. Gross margin was 39.4 percent compared to 40.8 percent in the year-ago quarter. International sales accounted for 67 percent of the quarter’s revenue. “Our team executed extremely well in the face of strong macroeconomic headwinds,” said Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO. “We are very happy with the continued strong growth in revenue from Services, thanks to the incredible strength of the Apple ecosystem and our growing base of over 1 billion active devices.”
Categories: Apple News

Final Cut Pro X helps small company delight world’s biggest clients

Apple Hot News - Wed, 04/20/2016 - 12:05pm
When Trim Editing started creating music videos over a decade ago, just paying the rent was a huge accomplishment. Now, the small East London company is crafting award-winning visuals for big brands — like Audi, Nike, Adidas, and Guinness — propelled by the power of Final Cut Pro X. The video editing software’s comprehensive features allow Trim Editing to organize film and audio clips, pull together compelling projects, and make changes on the fly. “When I’m playing back an edit for a director, they’ll say, ‘Okay, let’s go and make those changes I talked about.’ I’ll say, ‘Oh, no, they’re already done,’ and we’ll jump back and watch it again. People can’t believe that I’ve magically done the change before we even finish playback,” says editor Thomas Grove Carter.
Categories: Apple News

Mom Has Stacked Dinner Party Roster

The Onion - Fri, 04/15/2016 - 11:11am

GOLDEN, CO—Their eyes widening in amazement as the 43-year-old rattled off the names of heavy hitter after heavy hitter, impressed members of the Dreeshen household confirmed Friday that the roster for their mom’s upcoming dinner party was absolutely stacked. “Wow, she’s got Joyce from work, Cheri, Dana from yoga, Carol, Carol’s new husband—that’s all of the A-listers, together under one roof,” said Dreeshen’s daughter Michelle, wondering aloud how her mother managed to nail down such a jam-packed murderers’ row of neighborhood all-stars. “Jesus, she even managed to pull Dr. Fuller and the Jacobsons. Top to bottom, it’s just loaded. There’s not a single weak spot in the entire guest list.” Sources reported that such an imposing, big-name lineup would “absolutely crush” the likely dinner party topics of the Wannemakers’ new deck and Carol’s upcoming trip to Italy with her son ...











Categories: Comic Relief

Explosions: The Loud Killer

The Onion - Fri, 04/15/2016 - 10:02am










Categories: Comic Relief

Universe Feels Zero Connection To Guy Tripping On Mushrooms

The Onion - Fri, 04/15/2016 - 9:52am

EUGENE, OR—Noting that it had yet to experience any sort of oneness with the 22-year-old, the universe confirmed Friday that it felt absolutely zero connection to a local man currently tripping on hallucinogenic mushrooms. “As far as I can tell, all the boundaries between myself and this guy remain completely intact, so I certainly wouldn’t say that he and I have become one with each other at all,” said the collection of all space and matter, which added that, if anything, it was feeling further removed from the man after he ate two grams of psilocybin mushrooms and spent the ensuing three hours just sitting on his basement couch, during which time he effectively did nothing to interact with the world or universe more broadly. “Frankly, I feel like he and I are as separate and unconnected as we’ve always been. Sure, he seems like a decent ...











Categories: Comic Relief

Tiger Population Increases For First Time In 100 Years

The Onion - Fri, 04/15/2016 - 9:43am

The global wild tiger census has reached 3,890, the first increase in population in over 100 years and significantly higher than the last survey’s all-time low in 2010. What do you think?











Categories: Comic Relief

Bernie Sanders Asks Anyone Who’s Serious About Breaking Up Big Banks To Meet Him On Corner Of Canal And Bowery At Midnight

The Onion - Thu, 04/14/2016 - 7:53pm

NEW YORK—Inviting all those truly committed to economic equality, presidential candidate Bernie Sanders announced during Thursday night’s Democratic debate that anyone who’s serious about breaking up big banks should meet him on the corner of Canal and Bowery at midnight. “Show up at the base of the Manhattan Bridge at exactly midnight tonight if you really want to break apart the financial institutions and hold Wall Street banks accountable,” said the Vermont senator, adding that everyday Americans can help prevent financial firms from endangering the economic and political process in the U.S. by arriving dressed in dark clothing and taking every precaution to ensure they are not being followed. “Bring a flashlight and come alone. When the clock strikes 12, we bring economic justice to the American people.” At press time, Hillary Clinton had interrupted Sanders to announce that she would be there.











Categories: Comic Relief

Hillary Clinton Clearly Tailoring Debate Answers To Unclaimed New York Superdelegate

The Onion - Thu, 04/14/2016 - 7:52pm

NEW YORK—Repeatedly emphasizing how her proposed policies would benefit middle-aged fathers of three who work in the public sector, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton appeared to be tailoring each of her answers during Thursday night’s primary debate to a single unclaimed New York superdelegate, sources reported. “As your next president, I promise to make America work for all of us—not just the billionaires, but also middle-class families working to pay off a 30-year mortgage on a postwar duplex in Queens,” said Clinton, adding that, now more than ever, the federal government needed to reduce the burden of student debt on those who had just taken their firstborn daughter on a tour of several colleges upstate. “In addition to reinvesting in our country’s infrastructure—including that section of the Lexington Avenue line that gets so congested on the way to work every morning—I vow to strengthen ...











Categories: Comic Relief

Octopus Escapes New Zealand Aquarium

The Onion - Thu, 04/14/2016 - 2:51pm

Inky the Octopus is believed to have escaped the national aquarium of New Zealand by opening the lid of his tank, slithering across the floor, then squeezing through a 5-inch-wide drainage pipe and out to sea. What do you think?











Categories: Comic Relief

Passersby Stop To Stare At Man Leading Sad Life Through Open Apartment Window

The Onion - Thu, 04/14/2016 - 12:21pm

CINCINNATI—Saying they could not stop staring despite the highly private nature of the scene that was unfolding, numerous passersby reportedly paused dead in their tracks Wednesday night upon catching sight of a man leading an incredibly sad life who was clearly visible through his unobstructed apartment window.

Witnesses said they started gathering on the sidewalk outside his apartment building at approximately 6:30 p.m. after noticing that the lethargic, disheveled man, who appeared to be in his mid-30s and was clad only in a ripped T-shirt and unwashed shorts, had left his curtains open and his lights on, putting his pathetic existence inside his dingy one-room studio in plain view for all to see.

“Boy, you can see absolutely everything,” said 38-year-old Andrea Arnold, who was walking to meet a friend for dinner when she glimpsed the man playing video games alone in his barely furnished, bare-walled apartment ...











Categories: Comic Relief

World’s Marine Life On Edge Now That SeaWorld Moving On From Orcas

The Onion - Thu, 04/14/2016 - 12:14pm

PACIFIC OCEAN—Following the theme park’s pledge to phase out exhibits featuring the whale species and discontinue breeding them in captivity altogether, the world’s marine life told sources Thursday they were completely on edge now that SeaWorld is moving on from orcas. “At first, I was happy to hear the news about the orcas, but then it dawned on me that SeaWorld would probably try to find a replacement and I just started to freak out,” said an anxious and visibly trembling black marlin, who explained how a feeling of tense unease had spread among the manatees, sharks, octopuses, and other larger species of the ocean ecosystem that any one of them might be rounded up at any moment, transported to a small, featureless tank, and forced to perform a choreographed series of tricks up to a dozen times a day for crowds of onlookers. “The other whales ...











Categories: Comic Relief

How To Talk To Your Teen About Depression

The Onion - Thu, 04/14/2016 - 12:02pm
Nearly one in five teens experiences depression, but parents can find it difficult to broach the subject. Here are The Onion’s tips for talking to your teen about depression:
  • Begin your conversation with something as simple as an observation, such as “I’ve noticed you have everything a person needs to be happy.”
  • Your teen will appreciate your honesty and transparency. Let them know you really can’t handle another stress like this on top of everything else.
  • Whatever you do, don’t start the conversation by totally freaking out over the bag of Lexapro you found in their sock drawer.
  • Seek common ground. Your teen might be surprised to learn that even lame old Dad finds life inherently meaningless!
  • Try not to scare them away from opening up by reacting with overblown emotional responses, like telling them you love them.
  • Let them know that you can relate to ...










Categories: Comic Relief
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